It is well...

It's funny how God can speak to us in the most obvious ways sometimes. I was sitting in my car, just after dropping the boys off at Mother's Day Out, trying to figure out how I was going to pay for the groceries that I needed for the rest of the week. Just as I started to feel sorry for myself and start the whiny complaining to God about how poor I am - Kara Clayton's voice came softly through my stereo, sweetly singing "It Is Well With My Soul."

I love that song - especially the line "whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul." What a beautiful reminder that, whatever our situation, God is in control and willing to carry us through these tough times. As long as I am allowing the Holy Spirit to guide me, then I am living the life that God has chosen for me. He WILL provide for me, He always does! All I need to do is relax and have peace in the knowledge that my life is in His hands.

-Money is over-rated anyway (big grin)! I have all I need in my beautiful Savior!!

Confession

I'm having a bit of a reality check right now and I feel like I need to have a little confession time. While I have been growing spiritually every day through this experience, I think I may have let pride take hold of me. I started out with pure intentions, then grew a bit "too big for my britches" as my mother would say. I have taken entirely too much credit for many of the insights I have blogged about and not given God the glory He deserves. I'm not perfect, in fact - I'm probably the farthest thing from it, but God is teaching me more and more each day how to walk in His ways. What is so wonderful, I think, is that He is bringing my sins to my attention and allowing me to suffer the consequences of my sin so that I learn from my mistakes! (yes, I just said "wonderful" and "suffer the consequences" in the same sentence)

My biggest problem right now is my struggle with pride - I want to feel proud about what "I" have learned and what "I" am doing by going on this trip. What I need to be doing is learning to serve with a humble heart - knowing that any good I do is not MY doing at all, but the Holy Spirit working through me. Anything I have learned so far in this journey is the work of the Holy Spirit in my life.

Satan is definitely trying to attack me right now and I need prayer that God will give me the wisdom and strength to fight him off. Please join me in praying that God will continue to change my heart and continue convicting me of my sins, so that I can learn from my mistakes and keep growing closer to Him.

I am so blessed to have Christian friends who love me, just as I am; friends that can gently remind me to stay focused and not allow selfish pride to take over. If you are reading this, thank you for being the kind of person I can share this with. I thank God every day for bringing people like you into my life!!

Running on Empty

"Although it may often feel like it, there is never a time when NOTHING is happening in your life. That's because whether you realize it or not, you are never standing still. You are either going forward or you're sliding back. You are either becoming more like Christ every day or you're becoming less like Him. There is no neutral position in the Lord."
-from Stormie Omartian's "The Power of a Praying Woman"

Why is it that I seem to be moving backward when I feel like I am doing so much? Over the last week or so, my life has just become so busy that I have pushed the most important thing to the bottom of my "to do" list - my time with the Lord. When times get tough (or just hectic), I switch into this instinctive "survival" mode - going through the motions of daily life like I'm on auto-pilot, but not really LIVING. So here it is, time to slow down and just -- breathe.

My Holy Spirit tank is definitely blinking "low fuel," and it's time to fill up! It's so easy to get on a spiritual high and then get burned out, because you have forgotten to KEEP calling on the Holy Spirit for daily guidance! God will not withhold His power in your life, but we can not forget to keep asking for it.

Ephesians 3:19-20
"and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us."

Stop trying to do this on your own - IT AIN'T WORKIN' FOR 'YA!! Turn it all over to Him and just let go - then stay in constant prayer, asking that the Holy Spirit continue filling you. Great things will happen!

Dear Lord - I'm tired of trying to do this on my own. Please forgive me for not trusting you and for not making our relationship my first priority. Thank you so much for these times of despair, where I learn to trust you again! Please Lord, send your Holy Spirit to fill me up again and to remind me everyday to keep asking for more. You are so, so good to me, Lord! Amen.

NO WHINING!!

Philippians 2:13-16
"for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. DO ALL THINGS WITHOUT GRUMBLING OR DISPUTING; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear lights of the world, holding fast the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I will have reason to glory because I did not run in vain or toil in vain."

Hmm...all things without grumbling or disputing. I needed to be reminded of this today! As I have been preparing for this trip, I have found myself worrying about some of the silliest things and complaining like a teenager! Certain things just don't matter - like what kind of bathing suit I can wear and whether or not I can wear my tank tops. WHO CARES!! There are reasons for the rules (like my safety), and my comfort is not the number one priority!! It seems I have forgotten WHY I am going on this trip in the first place - It's not about me AT ALL. Sure, God may choose to use this experience to touch my life as well (actually, He already has), but my job is to minister to these children in Acuna by being an example. My actions will show where my heart REALLY is!

Philippians 4:13
"I can do [or endure] all things though Christ who strengthens me."

The truth about Truth...

2 Timothy 4:2-4
"preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction. For the time will come when they wil not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths."

Some of the best advice I have ever heard was from our pastor when he said, "You can't put God in a box." So many people attend church to "have their ears tickled," to hear what they want to hear. They make God into who they want Him to be and disregard who He really is. I've been guilty of this on many, many occasions. I've focused so much on what "church" does for me and forgotten why I should really be there: to worship my God and to learn to serve Him and make disciples of others. Sometimes this learning process involves convicting me of my own sin - other times it takes me out of my comfort zone and makes me confront some of my biggest fears. I think the thing I am most afraid of is public speaking (...as in sharing my faith with strangers).
The best way to remain in the truth and not be lead astray by false teachings and "tweaked" doctines is to remain in God's word and allow yourself to be taught by the One who inspired the truth - the One who IS the truth. By reading and following His word and allowing Him to take control of your life, you will discover truths that can not be put into words.

John 8:31-32
"So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, "If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free."

Scripture Memory

2 Timothy 2:15
"Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling th word of truth."

It is so, so important to KNOW your Bible! It's easy to take the word of God for granted and not see the importance of knowing the scripture - especially when most of us have a Bible at our fingertips. A few months ago, I bought a small Bible to carry in my purse, a "cheat sheet," I guess. I did a little research and found several important passages that I could use in prayer or to councel a friend in need. I definately got more than I bargained for!! Since then, God has been constantly sending people my way! It seems like I have spoken to at least one person per day who has come to me with a need for prayer. What this has taught me is that I NEED TO KNOW THESE PASSAGES BY HEART!!! There is an answer or instruction for everything in the Bible. What a wonderful (and simple) way to minister to people by constantly pointing to God's word for answers, for comfort, for guidance, and most of all for salvation!

*Just another reminder that He is always near, guiding our way. The instructions are there - all we have to do is read them and remember them!

2 Timothy 3:16
"All scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work."

What is your treasure?

2 Timothy 1:13-14
"Retain the standard of sound words which you have heard from me (Paul), in the faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. Guard, through the Holy Spirit who dwells in us, the treasure which has been entrusted to you."

History: The emperor Nero was trying to pass the blame of th great fire in Rome from himself to the Christians. This led to great persecution, public torture and murder, yet Christ's message continued to be spread.

I was raised in church, became a Christian at a very young age, and was physically present in numerous bible classes throughout my school-age years - but I never "got it." Only in the last several years have I begun to understand what a treasure we have in God's word. How fortunate we are that the words are printed for us and so easily accessable! What is unfortunate is that we take it for granted and do not find it important enough to study every single day and memorize its words - so that we may always have them in our hearts, guiding our way.
Once we have heard the message of Jesus Christ and made the decision to follow Him, it is our duty to share that message with the world.

Matthew 6:21
"for where you treasure is, there you heart will be also."

Jesus, my Savior, is my treasure!! Nothing or no one will every compare to the One who suffered and died for me, then conquered death so that I could spend eternity with Him! No treasure on earth could even begin to come close to that kind of love!

Prayer

Psalm 25
"To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, Oh my God. Don not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse.

(4) Show me Your ways, O Lord, teach me Your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O Lord, your great mercy and love, fo rthey are from the old. Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O Lord.

(8) Good and upright is the Lord; therefore He instructs sinners in His ways. He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them His way. All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of His covenant. for the sake of Your name, O Lord, forgive my iniquity, though it is great. Who then, is the man that fears the Lord? He will intstruct him in the way chosen for Him. He will spend his days in prosperity, and his descendants will inherit the land. The Lord confides in those who fear Him; He makes His covenant known to them. My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare.

(16) Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish. Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins. See how my enemies have increased and how fiercely they hate me! Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in You. Redeem Israel, O God, from all their troubles."

Lord, there are so many things going on right now. Please comfort those who are mourning the loss of a loved one, heal or make comfortable those who are sick, and continue to work in the lives of those who You are pulling close to Your side right now. Let us all take refuge in You, Lord! I also pray for the safe return of our soldiers who are coming home and thank You for giving them the courage to serve our country.

No Fear...

Ephesians 6:19-20
"and pray on my behalf, that utterance may be given to me in the opening of my mouth, to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in proclaiming it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak."

Paul wrote this to the church in Ephesus - the fourth largest city in the Roman empire, whose main source of trade. at the time, was from the pilgrims that would come to worship the goddess Artemis (Diana), the patroness of sex. Obviously, this was a very sinful city and the message of Christ would completely upset their primary source of income, if followed. What courage Paul and the believers at Ephesus showed by allowing the Spirit to speak through them in this sinful city!

Why then, should I be afraid to share my faith in a place where the gospel is, for the most part, tolerated? THERE IS NO EXCUSE!!

It is my prayer that God will give me the right words so that I may speak with boldness the message of Christ's love. Also, I thank Him that I am His prisoner - forever bonded to Him in love. What a wonderful, amazing God I serve!

Be Strong and Courageous

Joshua 1:9
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

I think the biggest thing I struggle with while preparing for this trip is fear: fear of not being able to communicate, fear of not being able to share what is in my heart effectively, and the fear of my own self-conciousness taking over and hindering my ability to share what I need to share.

As I read through Joshua 1 this evening, I realized that God's only requirement is to make ourselves available and do what He commands - He will take care of the rest! His plans are already in motion; all I have to do is follow His lead. He will give me the courage. He will give me the words.

God's instructions: Just show up.

Holy Spirit, go before us...

Ephesians 1:17-19
"that the God of our Lord, Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe."

I know that, without the help of the Holy Spirit in me, I would never be able to share my faith with others. I am, by nature, extremely shy and self-concious - always afraid that I am going to say or do something wrong so that I will no longer be accepted.

My prayer today is that the Holy Spirit will go before us and begin to work on the hearts of the unbelievers that we will reach. I pray that He will break down any language barriers and give them a spirit of wisdom and revelation so that our message of the love and forgiveness of Christ will not go unheard.

Nothing is impossibe with Him!!

Romans 1:16
"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation, to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek."

Do you REALLY trust Him?

Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight."

TRUST - what a powerful word. It's so easy to say that you trust in God, but so difficult, even impossible for some, to really live it. So many of us, as Christians, say that we trust God with our lives, yet we don't even turn to Him for guidance in making tough decisions...much less the simple ones. I think that the hardest thing to do is to give your children over to Him and say, "I trust you with their lives." It's hard to think that He may even take their lives in order to use them as a ministry to you or someone else. Hard to swallow, isn't it? Now - do you still trust Him in EVERY aspect of your life? Or have you put the love of your children or something else ahead of your love for your Creator? As much as I love my babies, I have to step back and remember sometimes that they are HIS - He has blessed me to be their guidance on earth, but their lives belong to Him.

It has taken me a long time and a lot of hard work to understand the true meaning of complete trust in God. Just as a newborn baby has to completely trust his mother to feed him, clothe him, shelter him, protect him and love him - so do I have to trust my God to do the same for me. He always knows what is best for me, no matter what my plans may have been or even if I do not understand His reasons.

He is always in control. He will never leave my side.

Are you worthy of your calling?

2 Thesalonians 1:11-12
"To this end also we pray for you always, that our God will count you worthy of your calling and fulfull every desire for goodness and the work of faith with power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus will be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ."

Am I worthy? Of course not, none of us are...but that's the amazing thing about our God. Because he is so merciful, He poured out His love for us on the cross - counting us worthy enough to give His life for us!! Although we are not worthy to even be in His presence, He is definately worthy of everything we can give Him - our lives to use for His glory.

Lord, please help me to resist temptation and transform my mind so that the name of Jesus will be glorified in my life. Thank you for your forgiveness and for counting me worthy!!

The Lord Works Out Everything For His Own Ends

Proverbs 16:3-9
"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. The Lord works out everything for His own ends-even the wicked for a day of disaster. The Lord detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished. Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for; through the fear of the Lord a man avoids evil. When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, He makes even his enemies live at peace with him. Better a little with righteousness than much gain with injustice. In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."

Oh, how my life has gone in a different direction that I had planned!

MY STORY:
At seven years old, in the middle of a frightening thunderstorm, I decided to give my life to Jesus. Although it took quite a while to finally get on the right path, I know that the Holy Spirit has been with me since that moment in our hallway with my Mother.
At eighteen, sin had torn our church apart and I stopped going to church alltogether. It was at this time that my life began free falling into sin, as I turned my back on my faith.
At twenty, I married a man for all the wrong reasons - mainly to escape the "prison" of my over-protective parents. I endured verbal and emotional abuse from a man who knew exactly how to break my spirit and take all of my pride and dignity from me. After only three months of marriage, I went against everything I believed in and divorced him.
Before my divorce was even final, I began looking for "true love," or at least what I thought it should be. As I grew further and further away from God, I grew more desperate for love and spiraled into a life of partying and live-in boyfriends that never had my best interest in mind... until I finally met my husband, who had a very similar story to mine.
My wake-up call did not come until early October of 2002, when I found out that I was pregnant. Only a few days later, my sixteen-year-old cousin was killed in a car accident. I began to reexamine my life and question where I was going. I was bringing a child into this world and knew that it was time to get my life back together. Jason and I decided to get married and we both started going back to church.
It took a while, but God's plan for my life started to reveal itself as my relationship with Him grew stronger and stronger. It has been a long and difficult journey, but I feel like I am finally living a life that I can be proud of.

The Lord has definately "determined my steps." Had I not gone through some of the hardships that were the consequenses of my disobedience, I don't know if I would have learned to trust Him the way that I do now. I have learned patience, humility, how to rejoice in times of trouble, and most of all forgiveness. Not only how to forgive others, but how to forgive myself. I am still amazed every day at the love that my Savior showed me through his suffering - the same love that He pours out on me every day, drawing me closer and closer to Him. How can I keep this to myself? He deserves nothing less than everything that I am, everything I can give. He is my Creator, the Healer of my soul, my Strength, and the ONLY PERFECT Love. How can I not share this love with the world? It is the least that I can do for the One who has given the most for me!!

No Branch Can Bear Fruit By Itself

John 15
"I am the true vine, and My Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in Me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit He prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in Me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in Me.
I am the vine, you are the branches. If a man reamains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in Me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in Me and My words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given you. This is to My Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be My disciples.
As the Father has loved Me, so have I loved you. Now, remain in My love. If you obey My commands, you will remain in My love, just as I have obeyed My Father's commands and remain in His love. I have told you this so that My joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one that this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you serants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from My Father I have made known to you. You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit - fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in My name. This is my command: Love each other.
If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated Me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember the words I spoke to you: "No servant is greater than his master." If they persecuted Me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed My teaching, they will obey yours also. They will treat you this way because of My name, for they do not know the One who sent Me. If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin. Now, however, they have no excuse for their sin. He who hates Me hates My Father as well. If I had not done among them what no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. But now they have seen these miracles, and yet they have hated both Me and My Father. But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: "They hated Me without reason."
When the Counselor comes, who I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father, he will testify about Me. And you also must testify, for you have been with Me from the beginning."


Lord, guide me in Your ways, that I may do Your will and allow Your light to shine through me. Prepare my heart, Lord, for the work you would have me do and allow me to bear fruit in Your name. Give me the strength to resist temptation so that everything I do will glorify You. Thank You, Lord, for this opportunity You have given me to serve You. Amen.

My Prayer

Mark 16:15
And He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation."

This was Jesus' commandment to his disciples after his resurrection. Is it not also a command to all of us who believe in Him? As I prepare for His work through me in Mexico, I have begun to pray for these things specifically:

1. That God will prepare my heart for the work I must do
2. That God will prepare my mind and take away all distractions
3. That God will prepare the hearts for those I will reach, to receive His message for them
4. That God will give me the courage to share my faith
5. That God will give me wisdom and that He will speak through me
6. That he will protect and comfort my family while I am gone, and that I may be an example to them
7. For safety for all who are serving with us
8. That He will use me, and that His work will be done through me

In the beginning...

Mission work has always been in my heart - it is what I feel I was called to do. Children's missions are what I have always been so passionate about, because they are so innocent. If they do not have a positive, spiritual role model in their lives, who will tell them about Jesus' love for them? I feel like it is my duty in life to share my faith with those little angels who have no other spiritual guidence.

I used to get so frustrated and did not understand why I never had the opportunity or the means to participate in foreign missions. I knew that God had laid this on my heart and wanted me to do this, but each time I saw a possible opportunity, an obstacle was put in my way. Looking back now, I see that it was God, gently telling me, "Wait. You're not ready." I eventually pushed the idea to the back of my mind and stopped thinking about it.

Over the years, my life took a wrong turn. I lost my focus on Christ and became a person that I was not proud of. Wow, God definately knows what He is doing!! Had I not gone through this dark time in my life, I don't know that I would have ever learned to put my complete and total trust in Him. I never would have given my life over to Him and given the Holy Spirit complete control. It was a very hard lesson to learn - I CAN'T DO THIS ON MY OWN!

Over the past four years, the idea of mission work slowly began to creep back in and eventually became a voice I could no longer ignore. More and more, I could feel the Spirit saying, "It's time," yet I still had one last excuse - I don't have the money to go anywhere! Once again, God's perfect timing revealed itself in the form of am Economic Stimulus Check for $1800, just in time for our church's mission trip to Acuna, Mexico. I suddenly understood that I was out of excuses and that God was not going to take NO for an answer this time.

Since then, I have spent a lot of time in prayer, asking that God prepare my heart for this task he has given me. While studying my Bible today, God spoke to me in a way that He never has before - I can't help but think that my coming across this verse was NOT by chance, but reassurance from my Heavenly Father.

Luke 24:49
"And behold, I am sending forth the promise of My Father upon you; but you are to stay in the city until you are clothed with Power From On High."

I see now that, even though I was a Christian and believed in Christ's power, I had not fully come to understand what it meant. I was not ready to minister to others until I had given full control of my life to the Holy Spirit and was "clothed with Power From On High." I know that I still have a lot to learn, but will continue in prayer and diligent Bible study to that God can continue to teach me and work in my life, leading me in His ways. I've never known this kind of freedom! My God is so, so good!!